Student’s Task 2 Answer

Sometimes I like to show you a student’s essay, so that you can compare it with your own and see what other people are capable of. Below is one such essay from a student who uses my correction service.

I’m not going to tell you what band score she got and I would like you to tell me what you think. Take a look at the official IELTS Task 2 Band Descriptors and then take a look at the essay. What score would you give the essay for each of the four categories?

Knowing how the exam is marked is one of the keys to success in IELTS writing, so this should be a really useful exercise for anyone hoping to do the test soon.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that school curricula should include community work, and pupils ought to do it free of charge. This essay will show that such experience at school can be beneficial for children as they learn to be better people and more responsible citizens of their country.

Undoubtedly, volunteering teaches people to empathize with others, not to be indifferent to others’ needs and lend a hand to strangers when it is needed. It is crucial that children acquire these qualities since a very early age, and schools can provide a great opportunity to do that. Looking from my vantage point, I can say that the school where I used to study made me a kinder, more considerate person when my fellow pupils and I participated in a special programme that was aimed at helping older people do housework.

Many educators around the world claim that it is important to make even young children aware of the fact that they are citizens of their country, and that they have their rights and responsibilities. Community service can certainly raise this awareness by showing that even very young people can improve the world around them. For example, in my hometown in Russia, schoolchildren are encouraged to collect recyclable materials such as plastic, paper and glass, and everything that is collected by them accounts for three quarters of all recyclables in the region.

In conclusion, unpaid labour for the sake of a better neighbourhood has many advantages such as learning to be caring to others and to be in charge of what happens in one’s community. While some countries such as Russia has partly adopted community service for their curricula, more countries can incorporate this element in theirs in the future.

Please let me know what you think in the comments below, or join the conversation on our Facebook page.

For more information, please check out our Task 2 page.

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5 Comments

  1. hilary says

    Dear Christopher, this is a great essay with very few errors. I would give this essay a band 8 easily – possibly 8.5

  2. Manal Al Idarous says

    Hi Mr. Pell,

    Her essay is perfectly written. It contains variety of vocabularies and obviously related to the topic. Additionally, the structure of the essay is clearly divided to illustrate her opinion through introduction, two main points for the bodies, and conclusion. However, I’m not so sure if we able to use “I” to refer to personal experience while we’re answering academic task 2. She used it many time. If you don’t mind can you give your opinion or your general thought on this matter in order to help avoiding this trap “using I” in writing academically.

    Another point is that the question mentioned a particular age which is high school, I don’t think using the word children in her essay answered or described the age that is mentioned in the question. A part form these two points every thing is written nicely.

    From my humbled point of view in writing using English, I easily can give her 6.5. what do you think? please reply

    Many thanks
    Mana

  3. Jass says

    Hello chris sir…….this easy a great explanation and easy of way to understand and during the visit this website my writing dramatically improve. …lots thanks bottom to my heart…chris and ieltsadvatage…..

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