One of the lovely people using my essay correction service wrote the essay below. What do you think of it? What band score would you give it and why?
Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the past, people used to work for the same company all their lives. In recent years, there has been an increase in the number of people who prefer to work for a variety of companies. This essay will show that despite there being many financial benefits to having a one-company career, it is better to switch workplaces regularly in order to fully develop.
On the one hand, those who believe that having the same job throughout their lives argue that it gives them financial stability. Long term employees normally accrue financial rewards such as a higher salary and a decent pension plan. For instance, long-term employees of the UK government can normally retire when they are 55 with 75% of their final salary paid to them each month until they die. However, having the same job for life does not suit everyone and could leave to certain level of stagnation.
People working for a variety of companies are given more opportunities to learn different skills. When workers start a new job, they will be exposed to new co-workers and a different corporate culture that shows them how to do things differently. For example, Wired Magazine recently reported that the average Apple employee only works there for 5 years and the average Google worker is there for less than 2 for this very reason.
In conclusion, while working for the same company all our lives can provide financial security, this essay believes that it is better to work for different companies in order to grow and become better than before.
For more sample answers, check out our Writing Task 2 page.