Below is a problem solution essay that achieved a band score of 9. I have also included an examiner’s report to help you understand how this candidate achieved the top band score.
Problem Solution Essay
It is becoming increasingly popular for people to travel to tourist destinations during public holidays.
What problems does this cause?
What solutions are there to these problems?
More and more of us go to tourist hot spots when there is a national holiday. This essay will suggest that the biggest problem this causes is litter and submit providing extra bins as the best solution, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
The primary drawback of so many people visiting the same place at the same time is the dropping of packaging, plastic bags, bottles and even human waste in public areas. There are simply not enough places to dispose of rubbish properly and this often leads to people dumping it wherever they like. This results in public places becoming unsightly, unhygienic, and smelly and even results in the destruction of public property. For example, Thanh Nien News in Vietnam recently reported that during the week-long holiday in May 2015, the beach resort of Vung Tau was swamped with more tourists than it could cope with and this resulted in the parks and beaches quickly becoming covered in filth.
A viable solution to this issue could be the use of more waste disposal facilities during peak periods. Extra places to dispose of waste could be deployed so that there are always options for people who need them and it could also be made clear where waste should be brought. For instance, at large events such as Glastonbury Festival in the UK, thousands of extra bins are installed in the adjacent town to cope with the extra refuse.
To conclude, the major issue with too many holidaymakers is people leaving waste behind and a possible way to solve this is to deploy extra receptacles.
This candidate has satisfied all parts of the question. They have fully answered the question by having a clear problem in paragraph 2 and a clear and relevant solution in paragraph 3.
They have also fully developed their main ideas. In the second paragraph the candidate has not only explained what their main point means but also stated the result of the problem. They have also provided a relevant and specific example to support their main point.
The solution is also fully developed by explaining how extra bins help solve the problem and again given a very relevant example to support this idea.
Finally, their position was made clear in both the introduction and conclusion helping them achieve a very high band score.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a very clear paragraph structure to this essay with the main body paragraphs being divided into problems and solutions. This leads to the essay being very clear and easy to understand. The outline statement in the second sentence also aids clarity.
Some cohesive devices are used such as ‘To conclude’ and ‘For example’ but these are kept to a minimum and the author does not over rely on them.
The main body paragraphs are also very coherent and cohesive because they make their main point clear in the first sentence and then expand on these points with explanations and examples.
The candidate uses a very wide range of vocabulary both accurately and appropriately to convey precise meaning. There are no mistakes in this area.
The question is paraphrased excellently in the first sentence. Paraphrasing is also used too good effect in the conclusion.
There are also a wide range of synonyms for key words like bin (receptacle, disposal facilities) and litter (rubbish, waste, refuse, plastic bags). More uncommon words, such as adjacent, unsightly, unhygienic, swamped and filth are used skilfully to convey meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
All sentences are free from errors.
Although there are some simple sentences, most sentences are complex. A wide range of grammatical structures are used accurately and appropriately.
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